for starters

i have begun to type all new blog posts because i am fighting off some mild depression due in part to recently losing my job, which i truly hated anyway. but writing always was somewhat cathartic for me in the past and i think i do it well so i want to use this to get it all out of me. i would love to have something to show for my time off.

topic: the academy award nominations were announced today.

as i have nothing but time, i watch daytime TV, in between spending hours on end looking at this computer. the schedule is
08:30 AM wake up, adore the cat, and make breakfast. today i also loaded the dishwasher at his point.
09:00AM watch ellen
10:00AM watch the view
11:00AM watch martha
12:00PM watch tyra
01:00PM at this point in my weekday i try to devote a couple of hours to scouring the web for jobs i have not yet applied for or updating my resume and then saving it to websites where employers can search for new employees. i also check facebook and hotmail and gmail. i listen to music and create playlists. i also make lunch.
03:00 PM watch the doctors
04:00 PM watch oprah (except today was a rerun)
05:00 PM i channel surf from style to tbs to cnn and back again. maybe i fall asleep or smoke a cigarette by the open patio door and light incense so it does not smell so bad or i look at the advocate.com or i take a shower and brush my teeth.
on a good day aaron is home by now to lift my spirits and talk with me. sometimes this is the first contact i have with another human being all day.
throughout the day i am texting people i know to get them to spend time with me if they have any time off coming up.

i used to go to the gym right after work and i would get home around 06:30 PM but i quit the gym and weight watchers when i found out i was about to lose my job in order to save money until i get another job. so i know i am gaining weight. that is no surprise. i consider it a personal triumph that i have a fridge full of booze and i have not even touched it. i do not have an addictive personality but i do not need a chemcial substance abuse problem to add to my ever-expanding list of personal problems. i suppose i think that eating too much is only slightly less deadly than drinking too much.

topic: our new president barack obama was sworn into office two days ago.

one thing that makes me feel truly sad is how my getting laid off has delayed our wedding day again. i am worried that people will think that we are not serious about tying the knot when, in fact, i feel so strongly that i can be happy with aaron for the rest of my life. but i do not want to give up any of the elements of our perfect celebration because i could not afford it. the good news is that i have figured out a way for me to continue living the lifestyle to which i have become accustomed using my tax refund and unemployment for the next four months if cannot obtain a job. the only leads i have are from temp agencies which are not the worst as that is how i got my last job. on the other hand i hesitate because i am usually asked to wait at least 3 months for benefits which makes me nervous.

topic: last week a u.s. airways flight landed safely in the hudson river and all the passengers survived.

for now i am all out of energy and i will think about what i plan to write about tomorrow or the next day. i promise you that my blogs will only get better and better from here.

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