Posts

Showing posts from March, 2018

lighten up

it's been about a year since i began the doctor assisted weight loss journey. I wanted to tell you what i have learned and how far i have come. i hope you will listen. in 12 months i have lost 36 lbs. I now weigh less than i did in 2007 but i still weigh more than i did in 2009. that is the last time i wore MY SKINNY JEANS. maybe i can wear them this summer in san francisco on my 40th birthday!? goals. I have tried a few medications including naltrexone, welbutrin, phentermine, topamax, and finally found a combination that works for me called qysmia. I am on a low dose and i have seen a steady comfortable loss of about 2 lbs per week over the last 2 months. it has actually changed my brain chemistry so that i no longer obsess about the next meal i am going to have.  I don't think about food as a reward ("i was good today so i can have ice cream for dessert"). i don't really have cravings anymore. I can think to myself something sounds good but i don't ha

a story about control

I have learned to love my dad even though we are very different and he has learned to love me. He is born again, loves 45, conceals and carries, has long hair, a long beard, and is no slave to fashion .   You would not believe he was even related to me by looking at him . Picture a grumpy old man with a limited perspective glued to Fox news with an opinion on everything . I only called because i wanted to check in and catch up. he said the usual things at first like “how is work?” i said, “good. We have a contract coming up.” for years as an adult i have been so careful to avoid the landmines/triggers with him whenever we talk because i don't want the conversations that we have to be arguments. I need to spend time with him not resenting him plus i have just been so tired and stressed out with midterms in school, always behind on sleep. So I can't explain why but at some point i ask "why can't the people who love guns so much just give up the automatic weapon